As the internet grows, it begins to fill up with tons of crap sites (such as mine own) with bloggers who think they’re unique and interesting. If you are one such person, you can use this list to determine whether or not anybody gives a crap about your blog.

1. Wordless Wednesday. You have them.
2. Yourblog.blogspot.com. Thats how you get to your blog.
3. Image dumps for posts. Especially populated from images on stumbleupon.
4. You seem to think you are your pet. You are not. Pets cannot use blogging services with such accuracy.
5. You are female and have given birth to children. Mommyblogger fail.
6. You lol at demotivators and partake in creating your own. Black borders don’t make everything funny.
7. You lol at lolcats and partake in creating your own. Chances are you’re not witty.
8. Stumbleupon. It’s no longer a valid method of retrieving content.
9. Memes & Awards. You partake in them.
10. When you run out of ideas, you create pointless lists. Disregard that, I suck cocks.
11. Personal Diary. The internet is not a good one.
12. Traffic Exchanges are your main source of traffic. I lol’d.

I hope you learned something from the 10 minutes it took me to create this small yet ACCURATE filter for whether or not your blog is shit.

So, it looks like Bing is pushing its way back into Cable airtime, running yet another campaign of their fucking annoying “Search Overload” advertisements. Frankly, I’m tired of seeing these annoying ads, because they deliver no real content or reason to *bing* and decide. Let me pick it apart for you:

Google does not give as irrelevant as results as the commercial would like you to think. In fact, I’m willing to bet the results were turned up using Bing itself, as every time I’ve tried to use it, I’ve got nothing but random bullshit. It’s as if they have it take the page 56 results from a matching Google search, and handing that to you.

What the FUCK is this “SEARCH OVERLOAD” bullshit they keep trying to push on me? I mean, if I’m using search engines way too much, why the fuck would I need another search engine? If I’m ill with “SEARCH OVERLOAD”, searching more but on a different site isn’t going to “cure” the problem dumbasses. That’d be like trying to cure herpes with sex with people who are having a fucking outbreak.

Bing and DECIDE? What the hell does the fucking piece of shit decide? What color socks I’m going to wear today? Can I type in “Should I go to Hawaii or California?” and it’ll give me a short survey to help me decide? If not, it’s doing no more good toward decisions than Google or Yahoo! answers or any general forum already does! Seriously, don’t label your shit as “revolutionary with this feature” if its not doing anything new! People are going to figure that out as soon as they type in “Should I tell my child unicorns are real?” and they don’t get a fucking decision.

Seriously Microsoft, give it up. You’re becoming really fucking annoying.

As a blog owner, you know traffic control is a must. So, what if your blog is becoming junked up with visitors, or even worse, people who click on the ads, therefore giving you money? Here are 5 easy methods of making sure the people who spend time on your website never come back, so you don’t have to worry about being popular or earning money online!

1. Make sure you autoplay some random music on your blog! I mean, if they’re already listening to their own music, don’t like the same genre of music, or if they’re trying to keep the sound from their speakers muted, they’re going to hate when your site blasts some random sounds into their eardrums!
2. Disguise your content! The whole point people GO to websites is to view content, so what better way to drive them away than by burying your content in 3 miles of Adsense and random links? Make sure to use the same colors and awkward spacing in your content, that way your visitors won’t be able to tell where the ads end and the content starts!
3. Make your sidebar infinitely tall! There’s nothing visitors hate more (than the two listed above) than a sidebar that has more total content than the blog itself! I mean, the loading time itself is excruciating! So, the key here is to find as many traffic exchange widgets and social networking widgets as you can, and stuff them right into your sidebar! That way even a T1 connection will take 10 minutes to load your blog!
4. Be repetitive and redundant! Content is king! I know you’ve probably read that statement on 1,000 blogs already, which is exactly my point! If you blog about the same exact topics as your competitors, there will be no reason for visitors to come to your blog in the first place! Another benefit is that you can go to your competitors for post ideas!
5. Be a mom blogger…with attitude! There’s nothing a visitor finds more clichè than a catchphrase such as “I’m a mother, I’m a giver, and an all around bitch!” You’ll be sure to stand out as dull person who, for some reason, finds educational television to be over-stimulating!

There we have it, 5 easy ways to free up bandwidth on your site and reduce your Adsense income! If you need some more inspiration for crappifying your website, make sure to visit hosanna1!