So, awhile ago I picked up PHP Web Stat, which is essentially a lightweight website statistics script for your website. It’s pretty featured, although a bit ugly and in need of a few extra features before I’d consider it “complete”. A public demo has been setup and has been running for a few months, so you can have some fun browsing through that. Keep in mind, however, you can choose to set a password to check such data if you have the script setup on your own site.

So far I haven’t had any problems with the script. There were minor difficulties setting it up, but that was due mainly to the fact that the creators’ native tongue is obviously German. The data is satisfying, the results are realtime, and so far they appear to be accurate. However, the only thing I find a nuisance about the script is that the creators charge for the script while still asking for donations (e.g. the donation link in their menu). Now, I know they probably put a lot of work into the script, but if you’re charging for the script, I don’t see any reason to attempt to solicit donations from users. Of course, this is probably because of the point I’m now bringing up:

The script’s been released under a GNU license, even with the normal charge for the script. What does this mean? It means that I, or anybody else who has obtained the script, is free to release it to the public as they see fit (so long as they give credit and do so freely; not like I’d sell other peoples’ work though, right?). What does this mean for you? It means you get a cool-ass free script, along with updates, for no charge to you for being such a faithful cool dude and reading my site.

So, without further a due, here’s a direct download link. Feel free to spread the word, and if you really like the script, buy it or donate (but not both! That’s just wrong!)

From a BBC report detailing an Albino Hedgehog’s stuggle with obesity.

So, when I’m using Stumbleupon out of desperate boredom instead of doing my homework, I’m always secretly keeping an eye out for sites using the GameNow theme by WPNow. Why? Because I find it hilarious to see “gaming blogs” that use a theme so obviously based off of Gamespot (hell, even WPNow says the theme was influenced by Gamespot). Sure are big shoes to fill if you think you’re legitimate enough to get away with a Gamespot ripoff for your blog theme.

So, without further ado, here’s my pointless review on “NoobTalk, The Art of Being Noob”

Site Design

Okay, I’ve already pointed out the fact that their layout is a blatant ripoff of Gamespot, but that doesn’t mean the design is clean. It’s easy to find what I need without feeling like the site is cluttered, and, wouldn’t you know it, the site begins to feel like a legitimate site, but we’ll see how well that rounds out once we get to the writing.

However, did I forget to mention how much their logo makes me want to stab someone? Did anybody SERIOUSLY put any effort into it?

“Hur hur if I put glasses on the logo it’ll show the visitors that the writer is a nerd so he knows about games and technology! Oh, here’s another creative idea, lets make the face a talk bubble coming out of the word “talk” like talk is talking! Then lets give it googely eyes to show the writers are silly and zany! Ha ha ha!”

My guess is no, but I digress, considering my own logo (self designed tyvm) isn’t exactly anything clever or special. *cough Yes it is it’s awesome cough*

So, other than those minor nuisances, I don’t find anything wrong with their design (unless you want me to get into how much I hate the layout for any SMF theme in existence…in which case I’m going to avoid reviewing the design of their forum at all.)

The Writing

Ahh yes, now lets poke at the heart of the blog, the writing itself. As is with the case of any website, the author’s writing style can easily make or break the site’s success. Provide insightful, entertaining writing, they will come. Be a biased, full-of-yourself egotistical writer who’s got nothing new to share, and you’ve got the author(s) of Noobtalk. The writing there is so awful that it makes me want to cringe into oblivion so I never have the misfortune of ever coming across anything like it ever again. Let me show you my favorite tidbits of writing that show just how humorous and well-articulated the writers are!

Now for the most important part of the review! The graphics!!!

They’re good.

Haha, you said it was the most important part and then neglected to do any detailed review. Haha. Funny.

Basically the story is about the US screwing the pooch in the first game, only to have it thrown back in their faces – like a circus clown getting a pie in their face. If the pie is a Nuke, and the face is their face AND balls.

Haha, you said balls. That’s funny because people wouldn’t normally say that in real life, but you’re so zany you said it anyway. Congrats on the fantastic metaphor as well.

Really, Mr. Bowling? Why not do a fucking :facepalm:, while you’re at it? You make games for GAMERS – we are your CONSUMERS and you SERVE us.

Since when do they SERVE us? They’re free to release whatever game they want. Someone’s got a swelled ego. And let’s all not forget the “Infinity Ward, I don’t love you anymore” post, which is even going to get its own paragraph!

First off: have you even PLAYED the pc version of Modern Warfare 2, Mr. Oz? Or, are you just jumping on the bandwagon of retards who have never played the game and just assume the game must suck because the PC version is butchered (yes, I agree it’s butchered)? Maybe if you’d actually play the game (like I have), you’d realize that just because you can’t mod the game to make it retarded doesn’t mean it’s not still extremely fun. Second, if you haven’t PLAYED the game, what gives you the right to bitch out Infinity Ward for it? Oh wait, right, bandwagon. My bad! Have fun with your egotistical attitude of how everything Infinity Ward does has to be just for you. You do realize that it’s impossible to make everybody love everything about a game, right? Just because you jumped the bandwagon don’t like something in the game doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. It probably just means you’re ignorant (judging from your posts so far).

Honestly, I’d review some of your other posts, but they’re so pointless I can’t even tell if they mean anything. Seriously, the product placement post gets to no conclusion at all. Nothing new, no major points, nothing. Hell, I could write a post with only the sentence “product placement in games” and it’d be just as useful to any random visitor.

Final Conclusion

This site is a joke of a gaming site. They put the NO in noob.